Sunday, February 7, 2010

Help! Police! My Kindle's been kidnapped!

Description of victim: slim, white, gray screen. Little buttons across the bottom. Clothed in a leather cover. Filled with Jennifer Weiner novels, Alice Munro's latest, and an unread copy of The Road. Last seen on kitchen counter, awaiting next reading session.

Suspect: 4 ft. 8 in. tall, long straight brown hair with bangs, blue eyes. Partial to wearing jeans, t-shirts featuring sparkly pictures of dogs, and Vans because she doesn't like messing with laces. Can usually be found reading a book or hitting boys with a sword. Warning: this suspect's room is landmined with tiny sharp Lego products. May be armed and dangerous.

Incident report: Suspect entered kitchen where victim's owner was preparing dinner. Suspect asked, rather sheepishly, "There's this book I want. Um, I don't know if you'll let me have it."

Victim's owner pictured a modern, racier version of Judy Blume's Forever, and replied with,"What book would you like?" To which suspect replied, "It's by Jules Verne? A Journey to the Center of the Earth? I read 20,000 Leagues and I liked it."

"Oh!" victim's owner replied (relieved, frankly), "Yeah, sure. I'll order it for you."

Suspect then eyed victim on the counter and said, "I hear those things get books really fast."

Shortly thereafter, suspect disappeared.

How you can help: If spotted, please return victim to rightful owner. Well, after suspect finishes with Jules Verne.


JLC said...

LOL!! Cute! .. and impressive reading level!!

WendyCinNYC said...

JLC--I think the built-in dictionary will come in handy with that one!

Angie Ledbetter said...

With three of those kinda suspects (and a temporary boarder) in my house, another reason not to have an e-reader. :)


Anonymous said...

I think you better check your purse too, seems a credit card is missing as well!



June Kramin said...

Funny! Guess I really won't bother getting one! I know where mine would end up too! dern kids ;)

Kathryn Magendie said...

I saw below you are finished with MS - yay! congrats! :-)

laughing at this post and the comment by ralfast *laugh!*

Melanie Hooyenga said...

I agree, very impressive!

At least the theft was for a good cause.

Janna Leadbetter said...

ROFL! Very cute.

WendyCinNYC said...

Angie--Good luck to your team tonight!

ralfast-- Hope not! :)

June--I guess everything ends up in there. I do intend on getting it back. One day.

Kathryn--Thanks! Another chapter reared its ugly head, so I'm working double time to get it finished.

Melanie--I know what I'll be asking for for Christmas. Again.

Janna--: )

Lisa Miles said...

Very cute! I just reread Forever. Glad she wasn't asking for that:)

sarah pekkanen said...

Hysterical! There's a similar-looking suspect in my house. I told him he wasn't allowed to touch my new iPhone. The next morning, I turned it on to see he'd photographed himself with it and posted the photo as my phone's wallpaper. Sigh.

WendyCinNYC said...

Lisa--My friends and I passed around the same tattered, dogeared copy for Forever in 4th grade, hiding it from our moms. Sex! Tee hee!

Sarah--Hilarious! I did the same thing to my husband's phone. When it rings, up pops a picture of me, screaming.

Allie said...

Oh! All my friends passed around Forever too!

So cute that it was Jules Verne!