Merry Merry

You probably won't hear much from me until January, as we have our Christmas festivities tomorrow and then we are off to Beaver Creek, CO. IF we get there, given they have had 8 1/2 FEET of snow so far this month. Gah! What does that even look like? And now, given my tendency to be totally neurotic about my kids' safety, I am worried about avalanches in addition to the existing fear of them crashing or falling off the chair lift. Ah yes, how relaxing this vacation will be.

Anyway, MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HANUKKAH, AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Oh, and happy birthday to me (a New Year's Eve baby.)

Santas, Santas everywhere

Last weekend, my daughter and I were sitting in the back seat of a cab when what before our wondrous eye should appear but hundreds of Santas parading down the Third Avenue. Girl Santas. Boy Santas. Even a Hanukkah Santa. We both laughed while I crossed my fingers that she wouldn't witness a Puking Santa, since the majority of them were streaming out of local pubs.

I guess I didn't realize that this was A Thing, until I saw pictures in the Styles section of the NYTimes this morning. I'm a bit too old and grouchy (grinchy?) to participate. Maybe 10 years ago.

Anyway, apparently there were 5,000 Santas this year, donning red suits and walking around Manhattan for no reason whatsoever. I'd say "only in New York," but I guess they share the joy in other cities as well. Maybe "only in New York" would I see hundreds of Santas, think WTF?, chuckle, and then forget all about it.

Awful. And yet, I can't stop laughing

At the 9 most disturbingly misogynistic old print ads.

Caution: so, so offensive! Especially the first one. Ew. But the others are funny/scary.

Happy Birthday, Cutie Patooty

It's my kid's 7th birthday. The one on the left wearing the doggy shirt. I'm sure you all care, but it's my blog and I'll be as sappy as I wish. So there. Happy Birthday, Charlotte!

Tomorrow we leave for Christmas break, which will include a visit to the in-laws, a visit the parents, and then a ski trip to Colorado. Let me tell you how much I love skiing: not at all.

This terrifies me.

But my family likes it, so off I go, to sit at the bottom of the mountain and hold everyone's stuff. I have one private lesson scheduled, but frankly, I have the wrong attitude. (Namely, skiing sucks.) I'm having second thoughts after last year's bruised-ass-snowboarding-fiasco. I kind of pity my instructor.

So, I may or may not be blogging, depending on the success of my lesson (fat chance) and the availability of an internet connection.

What do you think? Should I suck it up and take the lesson?

Why it's important to know your body type

Let me get one thing straight. I am not someone obsessed with my appearance, nor am I a Watching-My-Figure type or a No-No-I-Couldn't-Possibly-Have-A-Slice-Of-Cake type.



But. Apparently there IS some truth about knowing what kinds of clothes are flattering on your body. A really LOVELY picture of me ran in one of those local magazines, and now some people who haven't seen me in a while think I'm...

pregnant.

Can't imagine why. That puppy's going off to Goodwill, and I think I'll catch a few episodes of What Not to Wear.

And, sorry. I really couldn't think of anything better to blog about today.

Strange and harmless crushes

With an emphasis on the harmless.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, who, just for the sake of context, is tall, blonde and gorgeous. And friendly and adorable. She is also married to a very tall, very handsome, and very charming man who everyone likes.

The conversation quickly wound to the absurd and confessed to me that she had a TV crush on this guy:

That's right, Jim Cramer. The screaming trader from Mad Money. I don't get it.

But then again, I used to have a thing for Woody Allen, and he's no looker.

This was pre-Soon Yi Previn--that kind of ruined it for me. So now my TV boyfriend is Jon Stewart. Better looking and just as funny.

I suspect my husband has a crush on Padma Lakshmi, but that one is boring. Who wouldn't? My dad, however, holds a torch for....Queen Latifah.

How about you? Any weird crushes? (Harmless! Please don't confess any real-life affairs. TMI!)

PSA: About those Christmas brag-o-grams

...also known as "family updates," often included in holiday cards. I have no problem with them, theoretically. In fact, I enjoy hearing about Janie's interest in soccer, your trip to Disneyworld, or the birth of Little Snookums. I do. Especially when your family lives far away.

But. Perhaps this isn't the year to go on an on about the new 40 foot boat, or your husband's huge promotion, or all the time you are spending at your third country house. All that's nice and all, and I'm glad you are having a great time.

Just, you know, tone it down a little this year. And maybe pick up a newspaper.